Obama 'facts' you may not know

If you liked the satirical site, The People's Cube, you'll love V. 2.0, brought to you by the same people. It's called Best Obama Facts, a take-off on the Chuck Norris Facts site.

The living heroic legend that is Barack Obama has already broken the pop-culture record of Baghdad Bob and is now approaching that of Chuck Norris and Vladimir Putin. When even Obama's official campaign is forced to launch a fact-checking website to keep his runaway aura under control, you just know that Obama's public persona has developed a life of its own and is resisting efforts to catch it and put it on Ritalin. We thought that the best way to take control of the situation would be by using Obama's own patented method of hopeful approach to reality. So we built a radically different website: it looks like Obama's fact-checking site, only instead of chasing cowardly facts and arguing old truths that are tarnished and tedious, we invent new,sparkling-clean truths that are exciting and heroic. The beauty of this approach is that when new truths become old and tarnished, they can be easily thrown under the bus and replaced with newer and better heroic truths, ensuring Obama's glorious march towards a higher metaphysical plane of unstoppable service to humankind.

Here's a few of my favorite Best Obama Facts:

Every time Obama talks about change, a baby diaper becomes clean and a homeless person's cup fills up with nickels.

US Mail Service published Obama's resume on a new first class stamp.

When Obama pauses during a speech and his gaze is fixed on the clouds, he is reading his next great sentence from the big teleprompter in the sky, which is undetectable by normal human senses.

Any sentence containing the name "Obama" and ending in a question mark has been determined to be rascist. The only exception to this rule are rhetorical sentences such as "Is there any way that Obama could be more perfect?"

Obama's economic plan: No taxes, no progress. Little taxes, little progress. Great taxes, great progress.

When Obama buys caviar he always tries to get the one that is runny and tastes fishy, because that's the kind of caviar that the downtrodden eat.

And finally, my top 10:

1. Be clean, articulate, and non-threatening.
2. When in doubt, throw a friend under the bus.
3. Never allow others' self-interest to stand in the way of your common good.
4. All voters are suckers.
5. Friends and family are the rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them.
6. When someone says, "I'm not a racist," he's lying.
7. Blame Bush first; ask questions later.
8. Talk is cheap. Heap it generously on the public.
9. Never ask when you can use the government to take.
10. All we want is what's yours.