Breaking News from the Onion News Network:
Oh wait, the ocean waves did not start receding after Obama's great proclamation in the campaign. Oh well, maybe his magical hopey-changey powers will work this time. Can anything be impossible for The Obamessiah?
UK faces plague of "dry strokers" using pools. Jokers, midnight tokers
unavailable for comment [Creepy]
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4 hours ago

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