How to celebrate 9/11 in the land of the free and home of the brave

Tomorrow is 9/11 which I propose we should celebrate by shooting an Arab terrorist. If Osama isn't available, any Arab terrorist will suffice.

I'll be teaching my monthly concealed-carry class tomorrow, which is entirely appropriate, so let's review the four elements of justified self defense under North Carolina law.

1. You must believe your life to be in immediate danger. (OK, he's a terrorist. Terrorists terrorize with gun, knife, bomb, whatever. Shoot him.)

2. A reasonable person would agree with you. (If you're a terrorist, what reasonable person wouldn't want to shoot you?)

3. You must not be the instigator of a deadly assault. (I'm the victim, he's the terrorist. He started all this crapola on 9/11/01 with a cowardly attack on innocent men, women and children in America. He started it, but we shall finish it.)

4.) You must not use excessive force to counter the deadly threat. (Yes, officer I shot the terrorist five times. Why? Because when I pulled the trigger the 6th time, my revolver went "click.")

Or as the police officer testified in court about a deadly shooting, "Why did you shoot him 17 times, officer?"

"Because that's all the ammo my Glock would hold."

How much force is reasonable to kill a terrorist? You keep shooting not until you think he's dead, but until the terrorist knows he's dead.

Keep Gitmo open -- and send the leftwingnut lunatics there

Coming to a street near you, those poor, misunderstood, abused souls who will soon be released from Club Med East, otherwise known as Gitmo by the leftwingnut lunatic fringe now in power.



And speaking of the wailing from the left about the horrors of torture on those poor souls vacationing at Gitmo that "absolutely must be released onto the streets of America, right now!" let me quote Ann Coulter, who blows up the latest absurdity of "reporting" on torture history.

To claim that the Japanese -- architects of the Bataan Death March -- were prosecuted for "waterboarding" would be like saying Ted Bundy was executed for engaging in sexual harassment.

What the Japanese did to their POWs made even the Nazis blanch. The Japanese routinely beheaded and bayoneted prisoners; forced prisoners to dig their own graves and then buried them alive; amputated prisoners' healthy arms and legs, one by one, for sport; force-fed prisoners dry rice and then filled their stomachs with water until their bowels exploded; and injected them with chemical weapons in order to observe, time and record their death throes before dumping them in mass graves.

While only 4 percent of British and American troops captured by German or Italian forces died in captivity, 27 percent of British and American POWs captured by the Japanese died in captivity. Japanese war crimes were so atrocious that even rape was treated as only a secondary war crime in the Tokyo trial, similar to what happens during an R. Kelly trial.

Blow 'em away Ann. Get your gun out. We're gonna need ours soon. Keep your powder dry.

Obama offers legal driver's licenses to illegal aliens

Step right up, illegal aliens, get your legal driver's licenses here, right after you vote for Obama.

Hey, it worked out OK for the 9-11 terrorists, didn't it? How bad could it be?

W, Anne & me: Big Al vs. Osama?

Friends, neighbors, countrymen, we are gathered here today not to bury George Bush, but to praise him. On this 7^th anniversary of 9/11, the score is Bush 7, Osama 0. It’s a lonely job, praising President George W. Bush, but somebody’s got to do it. The “W” Fan Club could meet in a phone booth, as they say about us Republicans in my county of North Carolina. Let’s see, there’s me, there’s Anne Coulter, there’s… Oh, what the hey, I wouldn’t mind being alone in a phone booth with Anne. Where was I? Oh yeah, praising W. I live and work surrounded by Democrats, though to their credit they tend toward the Blue Dog conservative side of the party, not the leftwing nutroots, thank God for that small favor.

But I have discovered by trial and error, mostly error, that’s there’s one argument with my Democratic brethren that almost always works when they start running W down. After listening to the rants a while, I calmly ask, “Can you imagine what would have happened if Al Gore had been President when 9/11 happened?” I’m sure the leftwing-nutroot response to that is sputtering madness, but here in the conservative, Bible-belt South, it always brings a thoughtful pause to the conversation. And no Democrat I’ve asked that yet has replied with any defense of Big Al.

So for this solemn day of remembrance, I prepared my Osama targets last night for a trip to the range this weekend, where I shall shoot some .45, .44 and .357 Sig holes in my favorite terrorist. And when I put the first one between Osama’s eyes, I’ll say, “This one’s for you, George!”

Back to Anne Coulter, the Sarah Palin of the media; with me in the W phone booth. Good-looking, blue-eyed blonde, a bit skinny though. Where was I? Oh yeah, Anne’s 9-11 column compares George W. to my second-favorite Western movie star (the Duke is 1^st), Gary Cooper.

George Bush is Gary Cooper in the classic western "High Noon." The sheriff is about to leave office when a marauding gang is coming to town. He could leave, but he waits to face the killers as all his friends and all the townspeople, who supported him during his years of keeping them safe, slowly abandon him. In the end, he walks alone to meet the killers, because someone has to.

That's Bush. Name one other person in Washington who would be willing to stand alone if he had to, because someone had to.

OK, there is one, but she's not in Washington yet. Appropriately, at the end of "High Noon," Cooper is surrounded by the last two highwaymen when, suddenly, his wife (Grace Kelly) appears out of nowhere and blows away one of the killers! The aging sheriff is saved by a beautiful, gun-toting woman.

I love a happy ending, don’t you? And with Big John and Sarah Barracuda riding into town, I’m starting to feel better about the ending to 2008.

Any voter who can envision Sheriff Obama and Deputy Little Joe standing up to face the bad guys has seen too many modern Hollywood movies.

Ace penned a really good rant about 9/11. He’s pretty good at explaining the sputtering madness of the leftwing nutroots on 9/11.

On a lighter note, let me share my personal favorite 9/11-Osama story. In the summer of 2002, my middle grandson, Nicholas, was a very bright 4 years old and well on his way to becoming a news junkie, like his grandpa. My daughter Layla was shopping with Nicholas riding in the cart when they passed a military man in uniform walking up an aisle. “Are you in the Army?” Nicholas asked the soldier as he passed by.

The soldier stopped, smiled and answered in the affirmative. It probably also didn’t escape his notice that my daughter is a beautiful blonde.

Nicholas carried on his military interview with a second question, “Are you hunting Osama?” The soldier smiled again and said “I guess so.”

Nicholas replied with perfect logic, “Then what are you doing in here?” While the soldier was pondering his response to that question, Nicholas decided it was time to share some military intelligence with him, volunteering, “I know where Osama is.” The soldier smiled again and asked “Where is he?” Nicholas replied, “In ‘Ghanistan in a cave!” with a shrug of his shoulders as if everybody knew that. From the mouths of babes…

Vote Nicholas-Piper for 2048!