It ain't a black thing, it's a redneck thing

Seen the latest AP poll? One point. Statistically tied. I ain't real big on polls, since the liberal media pays for them and interprets them. But this is Associated (with Obama to win) Press! Dead heat. Maybe the truth is John McCain and Sarah Palin have a 10-point lead and a 1-point Obama edge was as far as AP could fudge the numbers without getting caught. It ain't bad news, that's for sure.

John Murtha's big mouth has even got the Pennsylvania rednecks going for McCain-Palin. First he calls his own voters racists. Oops. So he apologizes and said he meant to say rednecks. Oops II. When you're in a hole, Big John, first thing to do is stop digging. And keep your big mouth shut.

I hear Obama had Joe Biden and John Murtha locked in the same room until after the election.

Let's just call it the Revenge of the Rednecks, in Pennsylvania and all across the "bitter" country.

The Noo Yawk Times just don't "get" us rednecks. Take redheaded Maureen Dowd, who gives us the penetrating inside story of why Colin Powell decided at the last minute to endorse Obama. It ain't a black thing, Maureen assures, it's because Powell is such a great patriot.

And according to Dowd, Powell stepped into the fray because he was forced to due to "the slimy tenor of the race against Obama." Say what?

The only "slimy tenor" I've read in the Noo Yawk Times is directed toward John McCain, his wife Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin, all three of whom have been subjected to totally false hit jobs for the great sins of being white, male, female and Republicans, but worst of all for challenging the long-planned coronation of NYT's favorite son, Emperor Barack Hussein Obama the 1st, Lord of the Entire Universe, Amen.

And of course, we also have the "slimy tenor" of Dowd trying to use Powell to wipe away doubts of Obama's patriotism and religion(s).

He told Tom Brokaw that he was troubled by what other Republicans, not McCain, had said: “ ‘Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.’ Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim. He’s a Christian. He’s always been a Christian..."

...He got a mass e-mail from a man wanting to spread the word that Obama was reading a book about the end of America written by a fellow Muslim.

“Holy cow!” Powell thought. Upon checking Amazon.com, he saw that it was a reference to Fareed Zakaria, a Muslim who writes a Newsweek column and hosts a CNN foreign affairs show. His latest book is “The Post-American World.”

Lemme get this straight. Powell says Obama's "always been a Christian"? Even when his atheist mama and atheist daddy were raising him? Even when as a kid he was enrolled as a Muslim in a Muslim school in Indonesia? Even when his own choice as a grown adult for a "Christian" church in Chicago was the race-baiting, black-liberation-theology of not-rev. Jeremiah "G-- D---- America!" Wright? I suppose that's the same way that Obama's "always been for gun rights" despite a voting record that never includes a single, solitary pro-gun-rights vote and a political career from the get-go trying to ban all firearms, ammunition and gun-ownership rights? Funny how often "always" comes up with Obama. Every time he flip-flops, he was "always" a flop and never a flip. Down the memory hole.

And instead of being concerned that our "next President" is reading a Muslim book about "the end of America," we should salute his patriotism? Pardon me if I don't stand with my hand over my heart.

Powell also adds this knee-slapper: "Experience is helpful,” he says, “but it is judgment that matters." Is that sorta like the great judgment that Powell showed in talking President Bush the 1st into stopping the invasion of Iraq so Saddam Hussein could rebuild his army to fight again?

Meanwhile, way down here in bitter, backwoods redneck country, "experts" are predicting Obama will win North Carolina, my home state, which hasn't been carried by a Democrat presidential candidate since Jimmy Carter in 1976. I was one of those fools in '76 who fell for Carter's southern drawl and "born-again" credentials. Last Democrat I've voted for and the "Worst President Evah" who helped turn me into a former Democrat.

I lived through Jimmy Carter the 1st, stagflation, inflation and incompetence. Now here comes another smooth talker who's "always been a Christian" and has even less experience than the one-term governor of Georgia. Spare me from the Second Coming of Jimmy Carter.

Now I'm one of those "certified Republicans" Washington Post writer Kevin Merida refers to in his report on North Carolina's New Blues.

Process engineer Jeff Roberts and cattle farmer Lonnie Carpenter both were work-dusty and tired but boisterous, Roberts a certified Republican who brought Carpenter with him. He boasted of turning his Democratic buddy to the other side, but it wasn't clear that had taken much of a push.

"I don't think he has the guts to handle the job," said Carpenter. "I think he is a mouth full of 'gimme' and a whole lot of 'much obliged.' He hollers 'changes, changes,' and you never hear what the change is."

Take the war in Iraq, he said. "I think wanting to cut back troops, setting a deadline, that's bullcrap."

Roberts agreed. "War is ugly," he said. "War is dirty. You level the city, they learn. I don't think that country knows what freedom is, so they don't know how to accept freedom. McCain has been there and done that. He knows what it is to be locked up. I think McCain will fight for his people."

Democrat Lonnie Carpenter sounds like Joe the plumber to me, one of them good ol' boys who ain't as stupid as Obama thinks he is. And who did Merida find that's supporting Obama here? Let's see, we got a homeless "former" drug addict who spent 14 years in jail for murder and just got kicked out of a fleabag motel in Charlotte. We got a Hispanic hot dog lady selling her wares from a street cart in downtown Charlotte. We got a fella runs a black barbershop. We got a young guy who just cut his first rap CD. Whodathunk it? Obama supporters.

And Merida says "Pockets of political enthusiasm keep surfacing in the most unlikely places" for Obama? A fleabag motel, an inner-city sidewalk, a black barber shop and a rap recording studio? What unlikely places to find Obama supporters. Sounds like typical ACORN territory to me.

I bet Merida thought he'd found another Obama voter when he met Pam Demarest in Charlotte, a full-time nurse also working a part-time job as a community college teacher to make up the pay lost when her husband was laid off, plus putting a son through college. Wrong.

"I don't like Obama," she said. "When you look at him, when you see him speaking, some of the looks he gives are condescending. He doesn't come off as somebody I would trust. He just doesn't. Sometimes you can't give a reason for that."

Demarest voices concerns I've heard a lot. Folks here like McCain and they love Sarah Palin, but they're going to vote "against" Obama. I've done a windshield survey of my town and 30-minute drive to work in a neighboring county and I've seen many McCain-Palin yard and road signs and very few Obama-Biden signs. It's not a scientific poll and does not include driving through the "projets" as they are known here.

But I've also heard from more than a few yellow-dog Democrats who've never voted for a Republican in their lives and they're saying "Not only no, but hell no, I ain't voting for Obama!" Maybe the big cities and the ivory towers will go to Obama here, but not the rednecks. And though I'm sure the black vote will be overwhelming for Obama, I don't think he can win here without the yellow-dog Democrat rednecks.

And when Obama loses, all us rednecks will be called racists. But it ain't a black thing, it's a redneck thing. It don't matter what color you are, if you come across as "condescending" and untrustworthy to us rednecks, you can promise us the moon, but we just ain't buying any. Blacks, big-city liberals and college eggheads can’t outvote all us rednecks here in North Carolina. Ain’t gonna happen, hide and watch.

Jennifer Rubin at Pajamas Media compares Powell vs. Joe the plumber in terms of impact on the voters as we near the finish line Nov. 4.

Judging from the last couple of days, the MSM media seems more impressed by the Powell endorsement than voters do. The “Joe the Plumber” bump in the polls for McCain which began in earnest with last week’s debate seems, for now, to have exceeded the Powell bump.

But the challenge remains a daunting one for McCain. He trails in national polls and a series of state polls and is being vastly outspent on last minute campaign ads. Is there time for him to pull it out?

Nancy Pelosi says the election is over.

Conservatives beg to differ. The voters will settle the matter in two weeks. One surprising ray of hope for McCain: with the most unpopular president and the worst economy in generations he remains in the thick of the race. That alone tells us something about voters’ comfort level with his opponent.

Us rednecks beg to differ, too. It ain't over until the votes are counted and the fat lady sings.

‘God, Guns, Lipstick’ issues spark leftwing frenzy

William Kristol pens an op-ed piece for the New York Times that offers the best bird’s-eye view of this strange election season I’ve read so far. He calls the choices facing voters this year a “God, guns and lipstick” election. You’re either for it or against it, take your choice and vote on it.

The good news is that 2008 has been a thoroughly refreshing year. After two decades of Bush and Clinton and Bush presidencies, we’re getting change.

On the Democratic side, the Clinton machine supposedly couldn’t be beaten. It was. In the first real upset in either party’s nominating process in a long time, first-term senator Barack Obama mobilized new voters, volunteers and donors in a way that hadn’t been thought possible, and defeated Hillary Clinton.

Meanwhile, the Republican Party — which had nominated a Bush for president or vice president in six of the last seven elections — chose as its nominee a troublemaker who was George W. Bush’s main challenger in 2000 and his sharp critic for much of his administration. John McCain wasn’t on particularly good terms with either the G.O.P. establishment or the leaders of the conservative movement — yet he won. He then put on a Republican convention that barely acknowledged the existence of the current Republican administration.

And he chose as his running mate Sarah Palin, one of the least-known outsiders to be picked in modern times, and the first woman on a Republican ticket. This in turn sent other establishments into a frenzy.

Kristol explains why McCain’s Palin pick has created such “frenzies” in not only political establishments but also media, academics and feminists.

Is 2008 just a strange year, or is something big happening? Are we seeing one of America’s periodic political and cultural awakenings, one of our occasional, almost-convulsive democratic reactions to what is felt to be too great a distance between the people and their “establishments”? Such awakenings can be sudden and can come at once from different directions. They often have a theme in common, which is an indignant popular demand: “Stop speaking for us and start listening to us.”

We’re gonna get change, no matter which party wins control of the White House and Congress. Question is, which kind of change will we get?

We’re either going to make a sharp left turn toward socialism and bigger government or a sharp right turn toward “God, guns and lipstick.”

These three yardsticks offer the widest possible differences of viewpoints in the two presidential campaigns. McCain-Palin’s traditional church view of God and country vs. Obama’s 20 years in not-reverend Wright’s Black Liberation Theology church and his “God D---- America!” rants.

McCain-Palin’s long record of support for the 2^nd Amendment’s individual right to keep and bear arms vs. Obama and Biden’s gun-control record.

And the lipstick issue is just as stark between the two camps: women as feminists, career first, family last; or the working mom’s family first.

And believe it or else, Kristol finds agreement on Palin vs. Obama from that flaming red-headed liberal op-ed writer at the NYT, Maureen Dowd!

Sarah has single-handedly ushered out the “Sex and the City” era, and made the sexy new model for America a retro one — the glamorous Pioneer Woman, packing a gun, a baby and a Bible.

Her explosion onto the scene made Obama seem even more like a windy, wispy egghead.

Of course, Maureen really wasn’t trying to approve of anything Palin stands for or oppose anything Obama advocates, she somehow she let that pro-Palin, anti-Obama comment slip into her latest screech about how Sarah Palin threatens to bring about the end of the world as we know it.

But if Charlie Gibson can cherry-pick quotes out of context in his interview with Palin, I reserve the right to do the same with Maureen’s screech.

Maureen’s slip of the pen in her anti-Palin column is the classic definition of a political gaffe: “When a politician accidentally speaks the truth.”

Now if we could only get Maureen to read her column aloud on Youtube. That would make a great 30-second commercial for McCain-Palin.

We could call it “Pioneer Woman packing a gun, a baby and a Bible takes on the Windy, Wispy Egghead from Chicago.” Pioneer 1, Egghead 0.

Mercy, Maureen, well played! With friends like you, Obama doesn’t need any enemies. And with enemies like you, Palin needs no more friends.

But something smells sorta funny about Maureen agreeing with Bill Kristol. Is this another deep, dark plot hatched for a Hillary and Bill comeback?

Mama moosehunter vs. the Commie menace

My favorite redhead at the Noo Yawk Times, Maureen "O'Sullivan" Dowd, has her panties all in a wad again. This time it's the audacity of McCain to pick a good lookin' babe, as Rush calls her.

Maureen dips her poison pen and comes up with what I'm sure she sees as a ridiculous movie script starring the Norse queen and formerly obscure moosehunter, VP Sarah Palin, who moves up to the top job and then has a showdown vs. the Commie menace:

The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”

Then she takes off in her seaplane and lands on the White House lawn, near the new ice fishing hole and hockey rink. The “First Dude,” as she calls the hunky Eskimo in the East Wing, waits on his snowmobile with the kids — Track (named after high school track meets), Bristol (after Bristol Bay where they did commercial fishing), Willow (after a community in Alaska), Piper (just a cool name) and Trig (Norse for “strength.”)

“The P.T.A. is great preparation for dealing with the K.G.B.,” President Palin murmurs to Todd, as they kiss in the final scene while she changes Trig’s diaper. “Now that Georgia’s safe, how ’bout I cook you up some caribou hot dogs and moose stew for dinner, babe?”

I'm sure that's supposed to be ridicule, but there's one little problem, Maureen honey. It sounds like a movie I'd go to see, along with all my bitter, backwoods redneck buddies as we cling to our God and our guns. You can come with me to the show, Maureen, if you promise to shut up.

Bill & Hill plan Denver drama

Maureen Dowd at the New York Times has got her pretty red head all in a dither. She’s shouting out a warning to Obama, far away in Hawaii on vacation, that meanwhile back at home, Bill and his lovely wife Bruno are hatching a deep, dark plot to steal the show at the Denver convention.

Can Hillary pull off such a dastardly deed as stealing the nomination from the Anointed One, the Obamessiah? Dowd warns Yes, She Can

While Obama was spending three hours watching “The Dark Knight” five time zones away, and going to a fund-raiser featuring “Aloha attire” and Hawaiian pupus, Hillary was busy planning her convention.

You can almost hear her mind whirring: She’s amazed at how easy it was to snatch Denver away from the Obama saps. Like taking candy from a baby, except Beanpole Guy doesn’t eat candy. In just a couple of weeks, Bill and Hill were able to drag No Drama Obama into a swamp of Clinton drama.

Now they’ve made Barry’s convention all about them — their dissatisfaction and revisionism and barely disguised desire to see him fail. Whatever insincere words of support the Clintons muster, their primal scream gets louder: He can’t win! He can’t close the deal! We told you so!

Hillary’s orchestrating a play within the play in Denver. Just as Hamlet used the device to show that his stepfather murdered his father, Hillary will try to show the Democrats they chose the wrong savior.

It’s OK, Obama. Party on. Maureen’s just feeling a little paranoid. What could possibly go wrong? Bill and Hill wouldn’t dare stab you in the back.