Retrosexual man -- an endangered species fights back

A buddy of mine stole this from somewhere without credit. But I like it so I stole it, too. Hereinafter, please refer to me as "Retrosexual Man."

The Retrosexual Man of the 21st Century

Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand anymore.

Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui."

Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the Retrosexual movement. Formerly known as NORMAL!

The Code :

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with It" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your truck.

When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !

A Restrosexual Man is Normal.

There. I feel much better now! (Belch)

Try it guys. You'll feel better, too. I guarantee it.

Panthers perform cardiac comeback for No. 2 playoff seed

How 'bout them Panthers?! The Carolina Panthers just clinched the No.2 NFC playoff seed, a first-round bye and a home playoff game either Jan.10 or 11 by winning a 33-31 thriller at New Orleans. At right, Steve Smith of the Panthers outfights two Saints defenders for another long, crucial pass in the game. Smith just kept performing miracles and so do all the Panthers. Playoffs, here we come! I oughta say Superbowl here we come, but I don't wanna jinx 'em.

How to survive hell -- in seven easy lessons

I really like Doug Giles. He's a great writer, talk show host and even a preacher. And he's one of those Christians who ain't afraid to stand up and give you the truth, consequences and all.

His column today is called If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going. Here's his seven points. You gotta read his column to get the rest.

Here are seven observations and exhortations to help us keep plowing through tough times.

1. Jesus Promised Pain.

2. Are You Gonna Cowboy Up or Lay There and Bleed?

3. It’s About Character, Stupid.

4. Don’t Blame God if You Brought This On.

5. Solomon Says, “Relax.”

6. The “Gift” of Hell.

7. Once You’ve Made it Through “Hell”, Don’t Become a Jerk.

Again, read the whole thing. It just might help you get through your personal hell today.

Hanging out with the 'Baby Dolls' for the holidays

I've been too busy to blog for a while, but that's a good thing. I had some time off my regular job for the holidays, so I took a part-time job with a local gunshop to keep busy. As a certified gun nut, I shoulda been paying them but they paid me so I didn't argue. What I've been doing is taking photos of their guns for sale on gunbroker.com and posting the photos and info for sale.

I had shopped there and bought guns previously but had never seen what they call the "Baby Doll Counter," down on the pawn shop end of the business, away from the other guns. This counter is full of classic, mostly out-of-production revolvers, almost entirely Smith & Wessons and Colts. And there I saw for the very first time a Colt revolver I'd never seen, a Colt King Cobra .357 Magnum (above) in Colt's Royal Blue finish. See why they call 'em baby dolls?

They also have a Colt Anaconda .44 Magnum, two Colt Pythons .357 Magnum (0nly the blue one is for sale, the Stainless one is reserved for one of the owner's Christmas presents) and a Colt Diamonback .38 Special, none of which I had ever seen before in the flesh, so to speak.

Colt no longer makes any of these revolvers, the Single-Action Army being the sole survivor of what was once a lineup of some of the best revolvers ever made. But they sure knew how to name 'em, didn't they? The Diamonback'll bite you and the Python and Anaconda eat you alive.

On the other hand, you have Smith and Wesson, who used to have some great names, the K-38 Combat Masterpiece, the K-38 Masterpiece, the very first .357 Magnum, the .357 Registered Magnum, and of course, the original Military & Police .38 Special revolver.

And then some marketing "genius"/idiot at S&W decided all those great names had to go. In 1957, the above pistols became, respectively, the Model 15, Model 14, Model 27 and Model 10.

Really gives you the warm fuzzies, don't it? But they're still great pistols and being a Smith guy, I expect one of more of them will end up going home with me. First on my list is the .357 Combat Magnum, but I ain't giving you no link to that bad boy. It's mine, all mine. Get yer own.

Don't forget the real meaning of Christmas

Merry Christmas! In case you don't know or forgot, here's what Christmas is all about.

And Happy New Year, too!

Heroes "of whom the world was not worthy"

Kevin McCullough writes about two of his military friends and their connections to the S.E.R.E. school at Camp Mackall, which is right here in my home county, Richmond, in North Carolina.

It stands for Survive, Evade, Resist, and Escape.

Few in civilian life know much about it because of the intense nature of what it is. Stories have surfaced as to what others experienced in undergoing it, but even these are few as those who do persevere it are expected to not release the details of what happens.

The description as best I could decipher is akin to being caught behind enemy lines. Your objective is to survive for periods without the basics. You are to do so for as long as possible by not being captured (hence the "evade" phase.) When captured you are to react as though those who hold you are in fact the enemy, and as they do things like waterboard you, break fingers, etc., you are to rely upon all your ability as an honorable member of the defense forces of the United States to resist, not give up your information, nor of your mission. The more you resist the more those who run the program are encouraged to hurt you to tempt you to break. The only major caveat they are asked to observe is not to break any major bones.

Comforting.

The S.E.R.E. school was developed and founded by one of the heroes of my war, the Vietnam War, but few outside of the Special Forces (Green Berets) community ever heard of him.

James "Nick" Rowe was a young lieutenant serving as an advisor with South Vietnamese troops early in that war when he was captured and became a Prisoner of War. I met Nick Rowe much later and did a feature story for a local newspaper about his war experiences leading to S.E.R.E.

I also wrote about Nick Rowe in a semi-autobiographical novel I self-published, "The Crossland Shootout." The part about Col. Rowe is not fictional. Here's an excerpt, if I may quote myself.

Nick Rowe learned how to survive, evade, resist and escape the hard way, by surviving five years of captivity in Vietnam, becoming the first American prisoner of war to successfully escape in that long war. He later wrote a book about it, "Five Years to Freedom."
I met the colonel when I did that SERE feature story, and in the interview I did with him he recalled the crucial moment when he was at the end of his rope, beaten and bloody from repeated torture and starvation, about to give in to whatever his captors demanded just to get a little relief, or maybe just to give up and die.
In that moment, the young Green Beret said he recalled just the first five words of the 23rd Psalm, which he had learned as a boy in Sunday School back in Texas. "The Lord is my shepherd."
That was all he could recall in his search for spiritual strength at that defining moment of his life, but he said he held onto that, repeating it over and over until one word stood out.
My. When I saw that word in my mind's eye, I grabbed on to it. I made the Lord my personal shepherd right then and there, and from that point on, I found the strength to keep on resisting."
And he resisted finally to the point of his successful escape.
His resistance had finally marked him for death, when the Viet Cong who had been holding him prisoner for five years finally decided they couldn't break Nick Rowe and were transporting him under guard to a North Vietnamese prison for his execution.
Then the Good Shepherd who gave Nick Rowe strength to survive intervened. The Viet Cong patrol stumbled into a helicopter sweep by U.S. forces and Nick Rowe evaded his captors and escaped.
And for that escape, Nick Rowe knew he was a marked man. The death sentence passed on him by the North Vietnamese kept him from going back to Vietnam, so he spent the rest of that war in the U.S.

I saw the colonel again just before he took an overseas assignment to the Philippines, back when we still had a big military base there. It was closed in recent cutback times.
He had advanced to one rank shy of a general's star and told me he knew he had to take another overseas assignment if he ever expected to make general.
In what I later realized was a prophetic moment, he told me one of his buddies asked him if he was going back over there where the communist guerrillas were still fighting to do some research for another book. He said he replied, "I hope not."
But that's the way it turned out, except Nick Rowe didn't get to write about this research. The communist guerrillas in the Philippines carried out the death contract the North Vietnamese put on Nick Rowe's head for escaping. He was assassinated with his driver one morning on his way to work in Manila in an ambush by the guerrillas.

As the Bible says in Hebrews about the heroes of the faith, "of whom the world was not worthy."

Like the Marine and the Navy pilot McCullough writes about, the world is not worthy of such men and women who have fought and died for our freedom. We owe them everything. And they ask of us nothing. At the bare minimum, we owe them our respect, loyalty and support.

Watchwords of the coming Obama Presidency

Every now and then a politician slips up and utters the truth. Such episodes are normally called gaffes. Obama committed one yesterday.

The One announced his choice for Education Secretary, one of his basketball-playing buddies from Chicago, and with the announcement tossed in a sweetener, a paltry $10 billion for “early childhood education,” which according to the Noo Yawk Times has educators all “atremble.”

After years of what they call backhanded treatment by the Bush administration, whose focus has been on the testing of older children, many advocates are atremble with anticipation over Mr. Obama’s espousal of early childhood education.

In the presidential debates, he twice described it as among his highest priorities, and his choice for secretary of education, Arne Duncan, the Chicago schools superintendent, is a strong advocate for it.

And the $10 billion Mr. Obama has pledged for early childhood education would amount to the largest new federal initiative for young children since Head Start began in 1965. Now, Head Start is a $7 billion federal program serving about 900,000 preschoolers.

“People are absolutely ecstatic,” said Cornelia Grumman, executive director of the First Five Years Fund, an advocacy group. “Some people seem to think the Great Society is upon us again.”

Despite the recession, Mr. Obama has emphasized his interest in making strategic investments in early childhood education. Asked if the financial troubles might force him to scale back, Jen Psaki, a spokeswoman for the transition, said, “We simply cannot afford to sideline key priorities like education.”

Uh, hold on a minute there Cornelia. I survived President Lyndon Johnson’s “Great Society” which even liberal historians agree was a dismal failure. LBJ, AKA Lend ‘Em Billions Johnson, spent billions on welfare programs that in the end resulted in more poverty in America, not less.

But the President-elect who is so ignorant of history that he prefaces his biggest whoppers with the Nixonian lie “Let me be perfectly clear” is also apparently ignorant of LBJ’s negative legacy, since he refers to his $10 billion funding promise as “making strategic investments.”

In case you’re not educated yet on Obamaspeak, let me be perfectly clear what a “strategic investment” is: A whopping big tax hike. Sorta like spreading Joe the plumber’s wealth around. And now we have a new Obamaspeak uttered in the context of his federal education plans.

Even though federal control and funding of public education is miniscule – with the sole exception of unworkable federal “reforms” such as the infamous “No Child Left Behind” regulations – Obama said he does have a plan for reforming our public schools: “Rhetorical outreach.”

When I heard that term uttered on Fox TV news last night, I realized that here we have the watchwords of the Obama Administration. “Rhetorical outreach” describes exactly what Obama does best, in fact the only thing he has any experience with, the man who will soon be President who has never run nothing but his mouth. Us rednecks have two other words for "rehetorical outreach:" B.S.

“Rhetorical outreach” is how he plans to make the oceans recede and sunshine break through all over our troubled planet. Plus a $1 trillion economic incentive package. Plus a few billion here and a few billion there for any pet program he cares to add to his “Great Society II.”

As the late Sen. Everett Dirksen said, a few billion here and a few billion there and after a while it adds up to some real money. And where will all these billions come from? The Federal Reserve has already lowered the fed bank’s interest rate for loans to our nation’s banks to 0 percent.

Where do we go from here? Negative interest rates? “OK bankers, step right up, the Fed bank will pay you 1 percent to take our free money!”

There ain’t no free lunch. Somebody has to pick up the tab for “strategic investments” by your federal guvmint. It’s called tax increases.

And while I’m on the topic of “strategic investments” by your federal guvmint, Obama also announced yesterday another gov.-given “right.”

The Washington Post breathlessly reports today on “President-elect Barack Obama's call to bring high-speed Internet to all Americans.”

So far, Obama has not put a price tag on that “right” but an industry trade group has tossed the figure of $25 billion on the table for discussion.

So in addition to ordering the oceans to recede and the sun to shine all over the world, Obama will also end “the heartbreak of dial-up.”

In case you’re trying to add up all the billions and trillions Obama has already promised, forget it. Uncle Sam is already officially bankrupt.

Here's a short editorial to make you sit up straight, courtesy of the Washington Examiner:

The United States of America is bankrupt. Don’t believe it? Consider this: Federal obligations now exceed the collective net worth of all Americans, according to the New York-based Peter G. Peterson Foundation. Washington politicians and bureaucrats have essentially mortgaged everything We the People own so they can keep spending our tax dollars like there’s no tomorrow.

The foundation’s grim calculations are based on Sept. 30 consolidated federal statements, which showed that Americans’ total household net worth, diminished by falling stock prices and home equity, is $56.5 trillion. But rising costs for unfunded social programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security increased to $56.4 trillion – and that was before the more recent stock market crash, $700 billion bank bailout, and monster federal deficits chalked up in October and November.

“Given more recent developments, it’s clear that America now owes more than its citizens are worth,” said Foundation president David M. Walker, who has been trying to warn Americans of the coming financial tsunami for years, to no avail. So, after Uncle Sam bails out bankers, Wall Street gamblers, carmakers and over-their-head homeowners, who’ll bail out Uncle Sam?

And one more perhaps unrelated news item caught my eye this morning, a story about the mysterious galactic stuff called “dark energy.”

"We've discovered this incredible dark energy; we don't understand what the hell it is," said Lawrence M. Krauss, a physicist at Arizona State University.

Now there’s a Freudian slip of the tongue if I ever heard one. One of these days, the truth about “dark energy” will be revealed and it will not be a physicist who discovers it. The Bible tells us what it is now and where it is: Hell, the place that Jesus Christ described as “outer darkness.”

So that's my God and grits report for today. Can't believe I didn't get in a word about guns.

Fighting a lonely war far from home at Christmas

War correspondent Michael Yon, the Ernie Pyle of our day, reports good news and bad news from the frontlines of the war on terror.

The war in Iraq has ended. Violent elements remain, but they no longer threaten the very fabric of Iraq. The Iraqi Army, police and government continue to outpace the elements that would prefer to see Iraq in chaos. Iraq is no longer an enemy. There is no reason for us to ever shoot at each other again.

That's the good news. Now the bad news from Yon, who always tells it just like it is.

But Afghanistan is a different story. I write these words from Kandahar, in the south. This war here is just getting started. Likely we will see severe fighting kicking off by about April of 2009. Iraq is on the mend, but victory in Afghanistan is very much in question.

While Americans sleep tight in their beds, this time of year U.S. soldiers sit shivering through the frigid, crystal clear nights at remote outposts in places most of us have never heard of and will never see.

Often they head out into the enveloping darkness, to hunt down and destroy terrorists, who continue to kill innocent Afghans, Americans, Aussies, Balinese, Brits, Indians, Iraqis, Pakistanis, Spanish ... in short, anyone who opposes their violent tyranny. Their greatest weapons are ignorance and terror. Witness the latest unprovoked attack on our friends in India.

These enemies have no wish to reconcile with their fellow countrymen, or compromise in any way that would diminish their control of the lives of the ordinary Afghans who don't share their feral vision of life. They throw acid in the faces of little girls whose only crime is that they go to school. So we must continue to send our toughest men to confront them eye to eye, while performing the difficult balancing act of not alienating those who intend us no harm. This is particularly difficult in Afghanistan, a proud nation with a deep tradition of antipathy toward outsiders - even those who are here to help, though I am finding many Afghans clearly do not want us to leave.

The hard work is especially difficult when our troops are spread perilously thin. Over the last nearly two weeks I've spent time with teams whose nearest ground support is too far away, and too small anyway, to help them when they get into serious trouble, which happens all the time.

Some of these groups are too far out for helicopters to reach within any reasonable amount of time, and so their only choice often is "CAS," or Close Air Support: jets with bombs. Sadly, despite the extreme precautions I have seen our people taking in Iraq and now Afghanistan, we are bound to make some mistakes, which the enemy exploits to full potential. In fact, there are reports that I believe credible that the enemy is actively trying to bait us into bombing innocent people. Such is the savagery of the Taliban and associated armed opposition groups (AOGs).

In Part Two of Yon's report on the war in Afghanistan, he writes about a little-known element of the coalition forces, Lithuanian Special Forces.

U.S. and Afghan soldiers in Zabul Province give high marks to the Lithuanian Special Forces, who like to ride these captured Taliban motorbikes (photo at top) to sneak up on, and chase Taliban fighters. The "LithSof" are on their way to becoming living legends: Both Afghans and Americans report that the Taliban are afraid of the Lithuanians. Stories about them are filled with dangerous escapades and humor.

Americans say that the Lithuanians are sort of a weaponized version of Borat, who think nothing of sauntering around a base in nothing but flip-flops and underwear. "They look like mountain men. They never shave, sometimes don't bathe, and often roll out the gate wearing nothing but body armor and weapons. Not even a t-shirt," an American soldier told me. The Lithuanians may be a little bit nuts, but the Americans love to have them around because Lithuanians love to fight, and when you need backup, you can count on them. That contrasts starkly with many of the NATO "partners."

Maybe when your country spends almost a half-century with the Soviet boot on its neck, its first generation of free soldiers know what freedom is worth - and that you sometimes have to fight for it.

Try to get that mental image out of your head, Lithuanian soldiers riding Taliban motorcycles wearing nothing but body armor and weapons.

If you'd like to do something to support our troops and their loved ones at Christmas, here ya go:

The Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund

SoldiersAngels

The United Warrior Survivor Foundation

Naval Special Warfare Foundation

Operation Enduring Christmas

Operation Support Our Troops

What to do 'When all hell breaks loose in your life'

"If all hell has not yet broken loose in your life it soon will."

Now there's a comforting thought to start your day, ain't it? So writes one of my favorite columnists, Mike Adams. This former atheist, now a conservative Christian, has penned a thought-provoking missive for these troubled economic times when it seems the whole world has turned sour.

It should go without saying that I’m always pleased to hear when a reader turns to Christ. There’s no greater joy than hearing the good news that someone has accepted the Good News. By the same token, there is nothing more devastating than hearing of a reader turning away from Christianity. That happened to me recently when a fellow I once witnessed to said, “I still believe in God but I feel like he only intervenes in my life when he wants to (expletive) with me.”

The fellow who told me that also said he was not a “conservative Christian” like me but instead a “more liberal Christian.” He may or may not know that he’s on the verge of no longer being a Christian at all.

Perhaps the most accurate thing my reader has recently said about Christianity is that I am a conservative Christian. That conservatism is reflected in two things I believe to be absolutely certain about the life of a Christian:

1) I believe that - because we live in a world broken by sin and occupied by fundamentally flawed individuals - storms are inevitable. If all hell has not yet broken loose in your life it soon will. Chaos would not be so pervasive if people were as fundamentally good as the so-called liberal Christian deems them to be.

2) When all hell breaks loose in life, each individual is faced with the choice of moving toward the Cross or away from the Cross. Every person in every tumultuous situation chooses one or the other of these two options. A man has no one but himself to blame for the consequences of making the wrong decision – though the so-called liberal Christian probably dislikes my emphasis on free will.

When one responds to tragedy by moving towards the Cross it is impossible to believe that God only intervenes in men’s lives when he wants to (expletive) with them. The closer one moves to the Cross, the more one understands that God really is willing to intervene in the lives of men. One also understands that God does it because he loves all of his children and wants to have a real and permanent relationship with them.

Amen, brother Mike. Read the whole thing and you'll be ready when all hell breaks loose.

Ammo Ban and Registration Laws considered in 18 states

Know what's selling better than guns right now? Ammo. Us gun nuts ain't stupid. Word has gotten out that to date, 18 states are considering laws that would effectively ban all ammo now manufactured. Every single round. I know gun nuts like moi who have a fair stash of ammo and others more prudent than moi who have many thousands of rounds stashed away. If these new state laws go into effect -- or worse, if a federal law is adopted -- only expensive ammo with micro-stamping would be legal and all current stocks of ammo would become illegal.

Obviously, gun nuts know about this because ammo sales have skyrocketed even faster than guns sales since Obama got elected. I ordered some ammo online two weeks after the election from one of the major ammo dealers and I'm still waiting for my order to be shipped. Last word I got from the dealer was that it will be at least 2-3 more weeks before my order will be shipped.

The NRA-ILA has the lowdown:

Happy Holidays: Now dispose of all of your ammunition! Every last round! From now on, you will be able to buy only overpriced ammunition that will be registered to you in a government database.

Not yet--at least for now. A small company, Ammunition Accountability--which wants to help anti-gunners price and regulate the Second Amendment out of existence, profit at the expense of our rights, or both--has found radical anti-gun legislators in 18 states willing to introduce bills pushing such nonsense.

But few anti-gun proposals are so overtly aimed at destroying the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. As we began noting on www.nraila.org in January, so-called “encoded ammunition” or “serialized ammunition” bills would require ammunition manufacturers to engrave a serial number on the base of the bullet and the inside of the cartridge casing of each round of ammunition for popular sporting caliber center-fire rifles, all center-fire pistols, all .22 rimfire rifles and pistols, and all 12 gauge shotguns. In all but one of the bills, people would be required to forfeit all personally owned non-“encoded” ammunition. After a certain date, it would be illegal to possess non-“encoded” ammunition. Reloading would be rendered illegal.

People would be required to separately register every box of “encoded ammunition” and the registration would be supplied to the police. Each box of ammunition would have a unique serial number, thus a separate registration. Gun owners would have to maintain records if they sell ammunition to anyone, including family members or friends. The cost of ammunition would soar, for police and private citizens alike. The Sporting Arms and Ammunition Manufacturing Institute estimates it would take three weeks to produce ammunition currently produced in a single day. A tax of five cents a round would be imposed on private citizens, not only upon initial sale, but every time the ammunition changes hands thereafter.

And to what benefit in terms of fighting crime? Criminals already steal guns and would certainly steal ammunition. Burglaries would be encouraged. Criminals could also use shotguns, which fire pellets too small to encode, and which use shell casings made of plastic, which would be difficult to engrave. Criminals could also collect ammunition cases from shooting ranges, and reload them with molten lead bullets made without serial numbers.

Congress eliminated a handgun ammunition sale recordation requirement in 1983, because there was no law enforcement benefit. Be on the lookout in your states in the next legislative session for anti-gun zealots who refuse to learn from history, plus continue their crusade against our Second Amendment rights.

For more information on this issue, please visit www.nraila.org/Issues/FactSheets/Read.aspx?id=227&issue=005, and www.nraila.org/Issues/Articles/Read.aspx?id=289.

Cerf writes job description for Obama's CTO

Vint Cerf, inventor of the Internet (Really? I thought Al Gore did that), responds to a question about Obama's promise to name a chief technology officer (CTO) for his administration. Cerf is now working for Google as "Internet Evangelist," ironically the same job title as my brainiest former boss at the now defunct Koz.com Internet business, Doug Patton. Cerf makes it clear he is not interested in the CTO gig under Obama. I suspect it would be a huge pay cut.

Breaking news bulletins...

Question. Is Obama so ignorant of recent American political history that he does not know what former President always said "Let me make this perfectly clear..." before telling a huge whopper? Or is this his tongue-in-cheek imitation of Nixon as he tells his latest whopper?

"Let me make this perfectly clear. I have had no contact with Rod Blagojevich ... or Jesse Jackson Jr."

This shocking news just in from our Washington bureau:

Evil Republicans in the U.S. Senate have conspired to hasten the end of the world as we now know it by defeating the Detroit bailout plan for the United Auto Workers, heroically passed earlier by Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats plus a few RINOs.

A spokesman for the UAW called the Senate vote "a victory for all courageous $78-per-hour blue-collar workers," noting the Union had courageously held its ground by refusing all concessions demanded by evil Republicans in the Senate.

In other news, this just in from our news bureau in Springfield, Illinois:

The Illinois Legislature has passed a major bill to put a positive spin on recent developments in state and national politics. A new state motto has been adopted with bipartisan support: "Some of our politicians haven't been indicted, yet!"

And this bulletin just received from the Chicago, Ill., Imaginary Office of the President-Elect:

President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama showed his concern for the growing political scandal in Illinois politics by taking a brief pause from his rehearsal practice for the inaugural oath. Lowering his right hand and removing his left hand from the Koran, Obama turned to the camera and said, sincerely with a sad and solemn voice:

"This is not the Governor Rod Blagojevich that I once knew." When reporters responded with a barrage of questions, Obama said his announcement was only a photo opportunity. But when questions persisted, he responded with one other brief statement: "This is not the Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. that I once knew either."

In other major news from Hollywood:

Famed film-maker Michael Moore has announced a blockbuster cast for his latest docudrama, coming to a screen near you just in time to bring a bit of holiday cheer to these troubled times. Congresspersons Barney Frank and Maxine Waters will play themselves as the co-inventors of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as the lead roles in "When Freddie Met Fannie."

Ex-President Bill Clinton will co-star as the President who successfully kept America out of the War on Terror for eight years while leading the peacetime economic expansion of Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac and establishing the twin Clinton legacies of "Peace and Prosperity In Our Time."

Moviegoers will probably want to go out for popcorn and a stiff drink for a few minutes during the brief depiction of the eight years of soon-to-be Ex-President George W. Bush's administration, which begins with his launching of the War on Terror on 9/11 and ends with him forcing Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac into bankruptcy, bringing about the economic collapse leading to The Great Depression II.

But be sure to be back in your seats for the final minutes, when President-elect Barack Hussein Obama will make triple cameo appearances. First, he will play himself as the Illinois Senator receiving the "Friend of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae Award."

And the film will end on a high note with President-Elect Obama in a second cameo appearance as Presidential-candidate Obama, doing a dramatic rendition of his "The Oceans Shall Recede!" speech, wearing the same robe Charlton Heston wore as Moses in "The Ten Commandments" and holding the staff of Moses in his outstretched arm.

The dramatic ending of the film is an amazing political prophecy by Moore. Obama will make his third cameo as President Barack Hussein Obama, still wearing the robe of Moses and carrying his staff, with which he will tap on both shoulders Al Gore, inventor of Global Warming, as he appoints him Czar of Receding Oceans.

We now return to your regular news programs by the mainstream-media Obama network.

India gun control enabled Mumbai massacre

What happens when government decides to disarm all citizens? Like for instance, Mumbai, India?

So where do terrorists prefer to strike, amongst armed citizens, or in "gun free zones"? The Ridley Report covers the question the media isn't even asking, much less answering about Mumbai.

Coming to America soon, gun-free zones from coast to coast. Come on down, Osama! We're ready.

National Parks To Allow Right-To-Carry

Just received this notice from NRA-ILA:

The U.S. Department of the Interior (DOI), through the National Park Service and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, has announced the final amended version of its changes to rules on carrying of firearms in national parks and wildlife refuges. DOI's move will restore the rights of law-abiding gun owners who wish to transport and carry firearms for lawful purposes on most DOI lands, and will make federal law consistent with the state law in which these public lands are located. NRA led the effort to amend the existing policy regarding the carrying and transportation of firearms on these federal lands.

About time, but how long will it take the incoming Obama administration and whoever he picks for Interior Secretary to overturn this rules change? Not long, I'm betting. Enjoy your freedom while you can, gun owners and concealed-carry-permit holders. You are now free to move about armed in parks.

Buy guns & ammo now before gun-grabbers ban

I just received this little gem from Gunbroker.com in their December newsletter. The gunshop in North Carolina cited is not identified, but I strongly suspect it is Jim's Gun Jobbery in Fayetteville, largest gun shop in NC.

Jim's has been quoted by several newspapers across the nation as having record sales since the election, so it's a pretty good bet that's where this information came from.

One of the readers of my blog posted a comment anonymously just before the election giving me a hard time for saying Obama is anti-gun. His/her response was Obama won't be as bad as I think he will be. Maybe so, but huge numbers of gun owners or wantabe gun owners are voting with their wallets since the election that Obama and the Democrat-majority Congress will do exactly what they've done in the past when in power, ban guns.

If they don't, fine. Us gun nuts will just have a few extra arms and ammo than we had planned on buying anyway and just hadn't got around to it. But if it does turn out as bad as us gun nuts expect, well, better buy now while you can. Besides, if the bans are passed, our high-capacity rifles and pistols will appreciate in value smartly, probably more than gold and almost certainly be a better investment than the stock market and other so-called "securities," which are all headed in a downward direction lately and show no signs of a turnaround anytime soon.

If you're a gun nut or just a concerned citizen for your own safety and your loved ones, better to buy now while you can than to wait to see what happens only to find out you're too late to buy.

Hooray! Georgia votes for Saxby Chambliss

Finally, some good news for us right-wing gun-nuts, good ol' Georgia voted for Saxby Chambliss.

Now if Norm Coleman can hold off Al "I'm a blooming idiot and proud of it" Franken, the GOP might be able to head off some of the nuttier attempts at leftwing legislation, as in gun-grabbers.

To paraphrase what one of the few Democrats with a lick of sense said, retired U.S. Sen. Zell Miller of Georgia, I may already have more guns than I need, but I don't have as many guns as I want.

Of course, Obama will very likely be the second coming of Jimmy Carter, if not worse, but at least Georgia voters have got smarter since they got burned so badly by the peanut farmer from Plains.

Fred Thompson explains how Washington will save us

Fred Thompson, an actual adult who survived Washington, has a few words of clarity about the economy for this gloomy holiday season. If you can't figure out what "reputable, liberal economists" are doing, Fred explains the battle plan in clear terms. Allow me to paraphrase: When you're in a hole, don't stop digging. Dig faster and deeper and sooner or later you'll dig yourself out. Really.

Bayonet for your pistol; chainsaw for your AR

I thought the bayonet attachment for the CZ75 SP01 I bought was a bit over the top.

But this guy over at the Firearm Blog is way beyond over the top. He upped the ante with a full-auto chainsaw attachment to his AR-15.

Just having fun.

President-elect Obama's first international crisis

Who is this "fat little bastard" as Blackfive describes him, and why is he in the news? He's the sole survivor of the 16 terrorists who attacked multiple "soft targets" in Mumbai, India. Uncle Jimbo says this twerp is the only one of the merry band who didn't follow orders to "kill until the last breath." Jimbo also notes they were far from a bunch of pros, firing from the hip like they learned how to shoot in video games. But they did kill many innocent civilians and some Indian military and police and have fomented another looming war between Pakistan and India.

Remember how Joe Biden "guaranteed" Obama would have an international crisis to deal with very soon in his administration? How about before he's even inaugurated? India vs. Pakistan war is looking more likely by the day and hour and it may start before Jan. 20, the Obama Hour.

Bill Roggio has the startling news that the sole survivor of the Mumbai, India terrorist attackers has fingered the Pakistani military and intelligence service as helping set up the attacks.

The only member of the jihadi assault team captured during the Mumbai attacks has fingered several Pakistani organizations as providing support to the group, according to reports in the Indian press.

Ajmal Amir Kasab, also known as Azam Amir Kasav, was captured by police after a shootout near the docks in southern Mumbai. He was wounded and feigned death but was picked up by police after he was seen breathing.

The siege in Mumbai lasted 62 hours and claimed more than 195 lives. Terror assault teams held the city hostage as they fanned out through the city and attacked policemen, five-star hotels, a train station, a cinema, a cafe, and a residential complex.

Kasab has provided details on how his team of 16 terror commandos departed Karachi, linked up with a freighter carrying arms, hijacked an Indian fishing boat, and infiltrated into Mumbai via inflatable rafts. [See Indian commandos end 62-hour siege of Mumbai.]

Kasab has implicated the Pakistani Navy and the Dawood Ibrahim criminal network based in Karachi for providing assistance and training for the Mumbai assault team, police sources told India Today. The plot to attack Mumbai was hatched more than a year ago, Kasab told police.

According to the police sources, Kasab said 20 Pakistanis began training in terror camps in Pakistan-occupied Kashmir more than one year ago. The group trained in the Kashmiri camps "almost five-and-half months, during which the terrorist were taught the use of sophisticated arms and ammunition."

After the training at the Kashmiri camps, the group was "given a month's leave and were ordered to gather in Karachi after the break for training in boating, rowing and swimming by the Pakistan Navy."

The terrorists were then given maps and other information on their targets in Mumbai and trained in attacking the targets, India Today reported. Earlier, Kasab said several members of the assault team visited Mumbai to scout the targets and familiarize themselves with the city.

Any way you slice it, this does not look good. Pakistan fighting off India means they won't be doing any more fighting against Osama's thugs hiding and training in the mountains of Pakistan.

And who knows what will happen if the two nuclear-armed powers go to war -- again. One great big international hairball, ready and waiting for the new President Obama to cut his teeth on.