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Question. Is Obama so ignorant of recent American political history that he does not know what former President always said "Let me make this perfectly clear..." before telling a huge whopper? Or is this his tongue-in-cheek imitation of Nixon as he tells his latest whopper?

"Let me make this perfectly clear. I have had no contact with Rod Blagojevich ... or Jesse Jackson Jr."

This shocking news just in from our Washington bureau:

Evil Republicans in the U.S. Senate have conspired to hasten the end of the world as we now know it by defeating the Detroit bailout plan for the United Auto Workers, heroically passed earlier by Nancy Pelosi and House Democrats plus a few RINOs.

A spokesman for the UAW called the Senate vote "a victory for all courageous $78-per-hour blue-collar workers," noting the Union had courageously held its ground by refusing all concessions demanded by evil Republicans in the Senate.

In other news, this just in from our news bureau in Springfield, Illinois:

The Illinois Legislature has passed a major bill to put a positive spin on recent developments in state and national politics. A new state motto has been adopted with bipartisan support: "Some of our politicians haven't been indicted, yet!"

And this bulletin just received from the Chicago, Ill., Imaginary Office of the President-Elect:

President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama showed his concern for the growing political scandal in Illinois politics by taking a brief pause from his rehearsal practice for the inaugural oath. Lowering his right hand and removing his left hand from the Koran, Obama turned to the camera and said, sincerely with a sad and solemn voice:

"This is not the Governor Rod Blagojevich that I once knew." When reporters responded with a barrage of questions, Obama said his announcement was only a photo opportunity. But when questions persisted, he responded with one other brief statement: "This is not the Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. that I once knew either."

In other major news from Hollywood:

Famed film-maker Michael Moore has announced a blockbuster cast for his latest docudrama, coming to a screen near you just in time to bring a bit of holiday cheer to these troubled times. Congresspersons Barney Frank and Maxine Waters will play themselves as the co-inventors of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as the lead roles in "When Freddie Met Fannie."

Ex-President Bill Clinton will co-star as the President who successfully kept America out of the War on Terror for eight years while leading the peacetime economic expansion of Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac and establishing the twin Clinton legacies of "Peace and Prosperity In Our Time."

Moviegoers will probably want to go out for popcorn and a stiff drink for a few minutes during the brief depiction of the eight years of soon-to-be Ex-President George W. Bush's administration, which begins with his launching of the War on Terror on 9/11 and ends with him forcing Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac into bankruptcy, bringing about the economic collapse leading to The Great Depression II.

But be sure to be back in your seats for the final minutes, when President-elect Barack Hussein Obama will make triple cameo appearances. First, he will play himself as the Illinois Senator receiving the "Friend of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae Award."

And the film will end on a high note with President-Elect Obama in a second cameo appearance as Presidential-candidate Obama, doing a dramatic rendition of his "The Oceans Shall Recede!" speech, wearing the same robe Charlton Heston wore as Moses in "The Ten Commandments" and holding the staff of Moses in his outstretched arm.

The dramatic ending of the film is an amazing political prophecy by Moore. Obama will make his third cameo as President Barack Hussein Obama, still wearing the robe of Moses and carrying his staff, with which he will tap on both shoulders Al Gore, inventor of Global Warming, as he appoints him Czar of Receding Oceans.

We now return to your regular news programs by the mainstream-media Obama network.