The Tonight Show with Jay LenoWow, only one McCain's too old joke. See what I mean?
● The stock market was up 400 points today, or as the Democrats call it - terrible news.
● Barack Obama said again today that he wants to raise taxes on the rich - that's provided by November anyone is still rich.
● That seems to be the theme: In a speech today, Joe Biden said that paying higher taxes is patriotic. The Republican strategy on Joe Biden? Let him keep talking.
● The Democratic-controlled Congress said they are going to adjourn for the rest of the year. They said regarding the financial crisis, no one knows what to do. Well, that's a ringing endorsement to re-elect them - 'You're on your own! We're leaving.'
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
● This Sunday, the entire hour of '60 Minutes' will be devoted to Barack Obama and John McCain. Apparently, Barack Obama will be interviewed, and John McCain will fill in for Andy Rooney.
● Earlier this week in Colorado, Barack Obama gave a speech in the middle of a rodeo ring. Obama began his speech at the rodeo by saying, 'Hello - I am what is known as a black guy.'
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
● Computer hackers broke into Sarah Palin's e-mail. They posted her mail on the Internet. It's disgraceful. I urge everyone not to read Gov. Palin's emails - especially any drooling, adolescent love-letters from someone known as Craig from CBS.com.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
● Finally some good news this week: The chairman of the Fed called for a do-over. We're just going to start the week over.
● The government had to bail out two huge companies, and today they strongly hinted that they'd bail out others . . . at taxpayers' expense of course. It's all part of a new approach that leaders in the White House and Congress are taking - it's called socialism.
● A hacker hacked into Sarah Palin's e-mail by breaking her password, which turned out to be Bible, hockey, lipstick, gun.
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