Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Palin Derangement Syndrome worse than BDS

Andrew Breitbart, founder of the news Web site breitbart.com, explains the strange phenomenon known as Palin Derangement Syndrome, which seems to have infected all the previous carriers of Bush Derangement Syndrome and spread further. I take issue with Andrew only on semantics. He calls those infected with PDS "sufferers." The only people suffering are those of us nearby. They're PDS carriers, not sufferers.

Palin Derangement Syndrome, a more irrational variant of the Bush contagion, doesn't require sufferers to know anything about the subject of their hatred. Anonymous, unsourced rumors fuel the fire (book banning, speaking in tongues, creationism, etc.). Lovely family photos hacked from a personal e-mail account displayed on commercial Web sites push more buttons. Asterisks from Mrs. Palin's biographical sketch - "moose hunter," "small-town mayor," "wife of champion snow machine racer" - cause excessive sweating and irregular heartbeats. She even fired a guy who Tased a 10-year-old. (Oh wait, she didn't.)

What will happen when they find out she shops at Wal-Mart?

Predictably, the celebrity left - ridiculous enough to form a strong opinion based on unreliable data points and narcissistic enough to broadcast it - has taken to stage, television, newsprint and blogs to express its extreme ire at the Thrilla from Wasilla.

From there on, Breitbart starts quoting the deranged carriers of PDS, so don't read the whole thing unless you have a very strong stomach.

Breitbart concludes with a warning to PDS carriers that their ire may come back to bite them in the end, pun intended.

Not since the drubbing of Clarence Thomas during his 1991 Supreme Court confirmation hearings have liberals in Hollywood and the elite media so openly conspired to deny a minority the right to free thought and free expression of political ideals. Now Sarah Palin is exposing the Democratic Media Complex to a new generation, many of them open-minded women.

Joseph Curl, senior White House correspondent for The Washington Times, reports the Thrilla from Wasilla is taking The Big Apple by storm.

NEW YORK -- She may be a yokel from a state so far away it's not even considered flyover country, but Sarah Palin has electrified this city, which has seen absolutely everything (and quickly been smugly bored by it all).

You hear in the streets: "No, I think she's staying here, at this hotel!" You hear it in the elevator "here" -- the Millennium Broadway Hotel: "She's here, somewhere, maybe on the 52nd floor, in the really big suite." The bellboys ask you when they see your campaign credentials: "Can we meet her, just for a picture?" (Probably, um, not.)

She is, in fact, here, ready to check off the boxes that will make her an experienced running mate for her running mate, Sen. John McCain. She'll meet Tuesday with a slew of world leaders: First, Afghan President Harmid Karzai, then Columbia's President Alvaro Uribe, then former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, then hold a "private meeting" that is "closed" to the "ostracized" press.

John McCain is counterattacking PDS carriers, naming in particular that old gray ghost in the Big Apple, The New York Times, as number one.

The McCain campaign lashed out at The New York Times on Monday, accusing it of dropping its journalistic standards and being “150 percent in the tank” for Senator Barack Obama.

McCain personally didn't pass up an opportunity to bash the NYT and the media in general on Monday at a campaign stop when a lady asked him a question about PDS.

One of the three questions Monday came from a very angry woman. First, she drew the loudest applause of the day when she said to McCain, "I just want to say, thank you for Sarah Palin."

When the cheers died down, she struck: "I want to take the opportunity to ask the media, where's your 30 investigators over in Chicago! You gotta' start doin' your job and stop picking on little children because of their age and their pregnancy! Shame on you!"

McCain, with a wry smile, said: "That's a great question." More huge cheers. In the end, though, it didn't really matter. The 12 Monkeys -- David Foster Wallace's nickname for the dozen or so reporters from the big newspapers and wire services -- didn't wince. In fact, they didn't even bat an eye. Most weren't even listening, too busy typing away on their laptops in the back of the Scranton Masonic Temple.

Very good question. If you're waiting for the media to answer that one, don't hold your breath until they do. You'll get very blue in the face.

But to end on an up note, guess which big-shot Democrat said something nice about Sarah Palin?

Speaking about Palin's appeal to the "heartland," Big Bill Clinton said yesterday, "I come from Arkansas, I get why she's hot out there." Yep, he really said "hot."

Say what you will about Big Bill, hot babes is one area where he has some real expertise.

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