“Can I buy, like, just one bullet?”
“Say, do you know what time the bank across the street opens?”
“You got anything that will go through a bulletproof vest? Like, the kind cops wear?”
“Phased plasma rifle in the forty-watt range.”
“I’ll take this one…according to prophecy.”
“I’ll need a few more magazines for that, too. Let’s see who gets laid off today, huh?”
“The voices say I want that Remington pump-action.”
“Uh, you guys need, like, I.D. for buying a gun?”
“I need something for…deer. Yeah, a deer. A cheatin’, no-good slut of a deer.”
“Will this pistol show on a metal detector? Say, at an airport?”
“I need something with a scope. The anti-psychosis meds make me too loopy for iron sights.”
“I need a what to buy a fully automatic weapon? I’m law enforcement! I work the tactical team at Pheasant Lane Mall!”
“So, is this rifle easy to convert to full-auto? Just a bit of file work, right?”
“I want some practice targets. You got any that are shaped like squad cars?”
“Can I just rent this thing for a few hours?
Then Caleb responds with stuff you don't want to hear from a gunstore clerk.
- A little lady like you needs a snub nosed revolver
- The Taurus Judge is a great defensive weapon (for any reason)
- You don’t want to use buckshot in a house, use birdshot.
- You don’t want to see Gun Y, you want to see Gun X because I think it’s better.
- “10mm”
My current topper for dumb gun shop customer questions is "Is a .44 bigger than a .45?"
And even though I'm a fan of 10mm pistols, I never recommend one unless the customer asks first. It is a powerful round and probably a bit too powerful and sharp in recoil for novice shooters to handle.
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