Friday, October 29, 2010

Bad questions and bad advice from across the gun shop counter

Marko at Munchkin Wrangler and Caleb at Gun Nuts Media are trading riffs. Marko starts with a list of questions and comments a gun store clerk never wants to hear -- a good list of "Uh oh" starters.

  • “Can I buy, like, just one bullet?”
  • “Say, do you know what time the bank across the street opens?”
  • “You got anything that will go through a bulletproof vest? Like, the kind cops wear?”
  • “Phased plasma rifle in the forty-watt range.”
  • “I’ll take this one…according to prophecy.”
  • “I’ll need a few more magazines for that, too.  Let’s see who gets laid off today, huh?”
  • “The voices say I want that Remington pump-action.”
  • “Uh, you guys need, like, I.D. for buying a gun?”
  • “I need something for…deer. Yeah, a deer.  A cheatin’, no-good slut of a deer.”
  • “Will this pistol show on a metal detector? Say, at an airport?”
  • “I need something with a scope. The anti-psychosis meds make me too loopy for iron sights.”
  • “I need a what to buy a fully automatic weapon? I’m law enforcement! I work the tactical team at Pheasant Lane Mall!”
  • “So, is this rifle easy to convert to full-auto?  Just a bit of file work, right?”
  • “I want some practice targets.  You got any that are shaped like squad cars?”
  • “Can I just rent this thing for a few hours? 
    Then Caleb responds with stuff you don't want to hear from a gunstore clerk.

  • A little lady like you needs a snub nosed revolver
  • The Taurus Judge is a great defensive weapon (for any reason)
  • You don’t want to use buckshot in a house, use birdshot.
  • You don’t want to see Gun Y, you want to see Gun X because I think it’s better.
  • “10mm”
Feel free to add your own favorites/unfavorites for either side of the gun store counter.

My current topper for dumb gun shop customer questions is "Is a .44 bigger than a .45?"

And even though I'm a fan of 10mm pistols, I never recommend one unless the customer asks first. It is a powerful round and probably a bit too powerful and sharp in recoil for novice shooters to handle.

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