World's dumbest bicycle rider shows up at hospital emergency room

Every time I teach a concealed-carry class, when I get to the part about how to choose an adequate caliber for a carry pistol, I tell a story my daughter the ER nurse practitioner told me.

One Sunday, she sees this guy come riding up to the ER ambulance entrance on a bicycle. He can't get the doors to open so he rides around to the patients entrance and comes in. He reports he's been shot and asks for treatment. The nurses figure he's drunk or something as they saw him riding around on his bicycle, but he keeps saying "I tell ya, I been shot!"

Then my daughter comments, "Well, he does have a hole in the back of his shirt." They pull the shirt up and sure enough, there's a little piece of lead sticking out of his back.

They send him to x-ray, which shows a small hunk of lead stopped at a rib, an inch or so from the back side of his heart. The ER doctor on duty takes a pair of forceps and pulls the slug out, says it's about .25 caliber.

Which proves once again, friends shouldn't let friends carry mouse guns.

Meanwhile, doofus can't keep his big mouth shut and tells the nurses "my m-----f----- wife shot me for beating her up." So they tell the police who arrive to investigate the shooting and doofus goes off to jail.

Moral of the story: If you shoot somebody with a mouse gun, shoot 'em in the eyeball. And if you get shot for beating up your wife, don't brag about it. On second thought, do brag about it and then go straight to jail.